Thursday, July 31, 2008

An Ode to Working Late:

I've realized that anything and everything can be avoided or excused by working late. I came to this realization in the last few weeks b/c I have indeed been working late. How can you be expected to carry out your personal day to day work when you put in so many hours at the office? Right? Right.

Working late allows you to engage in several levels of irresponsibility that might otherwise be frowned upon. Just add the phrase "since I worked so late today" to the end of any sentence and be amazed as people's faces go from cynical to sympathetic. I'll give you a few examples:

"I didn't get around to washing the dishes, since I worked so late today"

That's alright! You don't worry about those smelly ol' dishes. You probably didn't even have time to use a dish seeing as how you worked so late!

"I didn't make it to the gym, since I worked so late today"

Sat around on the couch instead of hitting up that kickboxing class? Don't worry about it! You worked off your lunch by running back and forth to the accounting department. Besides, Diet Coke and Starburst don't have that many calories anyway.

"I'm sorry I never called you back...since I worked so late today..."

This one's a little trickier. I recommend adding a pause before you throw in the chosen phrase to add a dramatic effect. Throw up your hands and shake your head in bewilderment while you lower the bomb. This way people won't consider you a bad friend or a workaholic! They'll simply think you stayed so late at work that you temporarily lost all control of your faculties. You were lucky to even make it home, much less call to chat with them.

So next time you're in a sticky situation try it out! Let the laziness begin!


Anonymous said...

I always enjoy using the sorry I'm late to work today, it's because I worked so late last night! The boss man can't say anything to that.

Eric said...

This is hilarious...I'm takin' notes.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss