Another year older, another guy wiser.

Forgive me for my neglect. It was never intentional.

In recent news, I turned 25. I am now 1/4 of the way toward my goal of living to see 100. In reaching this milestone of a birthday I have attempted to do some soul searching of sorts. Of course I'm always attempting to soul search, but a birthday gave me a legit reason to do so. In the grand tradition of searching ones soul, I decided to buy a book. Through the course of wading thigh deep through my soul I have finally decided to come to grips with my situation with Apples.

Apples is just not that into me.

It's alright, I can embrace this. After all, I am 25 now and living with the false hope of a Happily Ever Apple isn't doing anyone a lick of good. So I swiftly settled on the book of the similar title "He's Just Not That Into You". Aside from selling millions this book is supposedly a jolly read on top of a good gut check. After casually looking (that's a dirty lie, I tirelessly scavenged) around Walmart and Target I came up empty handed. It was time to consult the professionals: Barnes and Noble. So Wednesday, after an exhausting session of kickboxing, I hit the hip book store to purchase my new view on dating and relationships. I knew they would have it, they have everything.... and this was a best seller!

As I walked in I briskly scanned over the displays down the middle aisle. Ahhh yes, the coveted middle aisle display. Where all the popular books with hip, colorful jackets sit. It's like the cafeteria at school. You have your New Arrivals greeting you like president of the student council while the New Fiction and New in Paperback arm wrestle at the jocks table. The Bargain Books cheat off of the Bestsellers' homework while the Children's Books furiously text away in the back corner. And then there's that new kid, Beach Reads. Not really sure about that guy. I looked everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

I even slowly skulked past the help desk hoping the hidden location of my book might somehow be transfered through osmosis. I could've asked an employee where to find it, but the only thing more ridiculous (and by ridiculous I mean sad and pathetic) than me asking a book to explain my relationships to me was asking someone to help me find the book.

Nothing. Where could it be? I had exhausted all possible locations......... except......... the Self Help Section (cue lightning and shattering glass). Hmmph! I smuggly "wandered" through the aisles just "casually" letting my eyes "glance" at the covers. Way of the Peaceful Warrior: A Book that Changes Lives and Just Who Will You Be?: Big Question, Little Book, Answer Within constructively judged me as I walked by. All of these books, but not mine.

I finally gave up and went home. Perhaps I'm not meant to read the book. I ate an orange in the car.......... that Orange was definitely into me.