Monday, March 21, 2011

Aloha, I am Mr. Hand

The only down side to blogging? You can't blog about work. The only downside to working? You can't, wait....there's definitely more than one downside to working....That, dear friends, is why I'm taking this public declaration! A public declaration of shiftlessness! I am LAZY. Not only am I lazy, but I would happily live my life as a listless beach bum, void of any real assets or acclaim. I just don't have the balls to do it. What is lazy? Who decides?? THE MAN. That's who. And who do we all work for? see where I'm going with this.

I've grown weary of THE MAN and his MANly ways. I'm not sure I ever really liked him...kinda like that frat guy you date in college, not because you have any real attraction to him but because he has muscles and spikey, bleach tipped hair and he drives a noisy truck and can shot-gun a beer with his other muscley, bleach tipped buddies who sit around high-fiving each other while they watch the X Games and try to impress you with their vast ESPN magazine collection. Yeah, I know - GROSS. But we all do it. We all (at some point) give into peer pressure and succumb to an ideal we never believed in. The only difference as we get older is that Frat Boy turns into Boss Man and we make ourselves feel better about it because we're taking home a paycheck at the end of the day instead VD (Editors Note: I do not speak from personal experience. Just sayin')

I'm ready to break up with THE MAN. I never really loved him; I hardly ever liked him. While he may offer some of his mistresses great fortune and opportunity, he ain't left me nothing but trouble. If life were the Playboy Mansion, THE MAN would be Hugh. Sure, there are plenty of girls on Hugh's short list, but there are far more trolling away in the guest house across the street. Why am I shacking up in the guest house with all these other suckers when I could be living the sweet life with Lazy?

I leave you with the immortal words of Jeff Spicoli...
All I Need Are Some Tasty Waves, A Cool Buzz, And I'm Fine. Sound Clip and Quote

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss