Here Piggy Piggy Piggy!!

As I listened to the sausage sizzle and pop in the skillet tonight a memory came to me...A few years ago I became a vegetarian (only for a short while) in the hopes of reaching some sort of enlightenment. While the pledge didn't stick, the enlightenment did. I watched while the sausage patty browned; a key ingredient in my dinner of breakfast. I melted some cheese atop said sausage as it rested in the safe confines of a toasted English Muffin. Add a lightly scrambled egg and the sandwich was complete. I'm always surprised by myself when I eat pork, and I've already eaten it 3 times this week. While this is certainly more than I usually partake in, my mind always does a few flips when I touch the pig to my lips.

You see, the thing that prompted me to kiss off the meat was the following article in Rolling Stone. It outlines in detail the depravity of the Pork Industry. I had been contemplating becoming a vegetarian for quite some time, but after reading this I was so completely disturbed I couldn't ignore it anymore. I firmly believe in the responsible use of animals for our nourishment, shelter and well being. It is our God given blessing (Genesis 1:26). Clearly these Pig Farmers didn't get the memo. I still eat meat, and ironically pork in all it's many forms is one of my favorites (sausage? good. ham? good. bacon? good!). I don't know if that makes me a hypocrite or not. Either way I feel people should be informed about what they're eating.

Please don't be discouraged by the length of this article; you will NOT regret reading it. Be enlightened...

http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/12840743/porks_dirty_secret_the_nations_top_hog_producer_is_also_one_of_americas_worst_polluters

I should change the name from "Deep Thoughts" to "Random Crap"

And heeere weeeee GO.

I had the Beach Boys Christmas music stuck in my head ALL DAY. What's up with that? I think the BB's were on the radio on the way back from lunch. I ate Digiorno's stuffed crust. Y.U.M.

After a series of other delightful events I ventured to CVS with Monica so she could get tampons. That's right, I'm callin' her out. And really? There's nothing to be called out on. It happens. I don't want to play the crazy feminazi card, but why do we have to pay for tampons? It seems unethical... but I guess we have to pay for food and water also so whatever. And Monica doesn't even have Internet access so the odds of her reading this are slim. And if you are reading this Mon, I owe you the next three restaurant picks and a bloody mary. For you. Not for me. Those things are foul. So we're browsing the candy aisle when I spot some Sour Patch watermelons. Speaking of yum, so in a moment of weakness I picked up a bag.... turned it over, and checked the calorie count. 140! How many servings? 6!! What the fetch?! That's, like 2 billion calories. Unacceptable. So as we're checking out I'm telling Monica about this and the check out girl is scowling at me. She actually appeared to be going out of her way to look up at me and frown. As we were walking out I mentioned something to Mon about this and she said "Maybe it's because we're skinny so she just thought you were a bitch for talking about it"

A: I am no skinny bitch
B: if I'm gonna get busted it is NOT going to be by a guy like that...


...wait, no that's Abe Froman. At any rate - MAYBE if that checker girl (who's was workin' what her mama gave her) spent a little less time giving me dirty looks and a little more time counting calories we wouldn't've had our unpleasant little run-in. That is all, you can now all lower your opinion of me.

Saturday List of Things To Do:

#1 digest the sausage/egg/cheese English Muffin I just (prepared and) ate
#2 lose 20 pounds
#3 get money order from United and pay rent/H20 bill
#4 pack and move my junk
#5 maybe finish watching 'I Still Know What You Did Last Summer'
#6 kill myself for wanting to watch ISKWYDLS
#7 take Emmy to the park to chase some ducks (but not the big ones with red beaks, they're aggressive)
#8 go shopping
#9 earn enough money to do said shopping
#10 go out and find a husband
#11 dump husband because he doesn't like I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
#12 go to bed early

Yes, it's going to be a busy day. I think I can manage.

That's Amore!

I like Clipper Ships... wait, no that's Little Man Tate. I like PIZZA. Do you? There's not much you could do to a pizza that I wouldn't approve of.

Just thought I'd share.

NOM!NOM!NOM!

...maybe they were driving to Russia...

Today on my way back to the office from my lunch break I passed a car with this sticker on the back window...

...which was funny on so many different levels. I'll leave you to write your own punch lines.

Homicide is in this year

Let's take it back a few months...

It was September (or maybe August?) and the office had all participated in Race for the Cure. When you sign up you receive a t-shirt. The shirt is generally low quality and busy as heck so we (being in the t-shirt designing and printing business) chose to make one of our own. It was very simple and black (the provided shirts were white). Now I don't typically love black t-shirts b/c they get all linty and faded and they always feel different than other color shirts, but it's all good. Our black shirts looked pretty sharp in a sea full of white and pink. I kicked it up another notch by wearing black leggings and black shorts. Mind you I wasn't trying to be all Johnny Cash... the shorts were a recent purchase from walmart (imitating the sorority favorite nike shorts) and the tights-well the tights were to conceal my not so sexy, non summery legs (read: pale and chubby). No one seemed to notice my monochromatic ensemble, until later.

If you've ever raced for the cure then you know that the cure can only be raced for at an ungodly hour of the morning. If you're thinking of curing cancer please be forwarned that any efforts made past 9 o'clock am will be null and void. So I made it back to my casa around sunrise (okay, it was slightly after sunrise... but still). So after I watched Clue to wind down:

I skipped on over to the mall for a little shopping. Being the lazy Saturday kinda girl that I am, I opted to stay in my race gear. I made my obligatory stop at The Candy Wrapper for a few delicious candy treats. Every time I visit the c-dub it becomes more and more obvious that I am getting older. I know this must come as a shock. The average age of the employees is about 17, so naturally I have all sorts of fun chatting about Twilight and gossiping about celebs, etc. It turns out I have lots of things in common with High School girls (a quality that would have been useful when I was actually in high school). Alex was working that morning. Alex is a red head that stays "true to her roots" (pardon the pun). In all her fiestyness and excitement she commented on my outfit. "Man you're all murdered out!"

Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder? What does this mean? Apparently, when one is wearing all black it is refered to as being "murdered out". This is where my oldness kicks in, because that's just dumb. Who says stuff like that? Who even comes up with that? Is that because murderers wear all black? If anybody fit that profile I would say it would be a cat burglar... in which case I'd be "burgled out"

Or maybe "mimed out"?

How about I go to work tomorrow all "Snape'd out"

Or hit the club this weekend all "Beyonce'd out"?

Because it's dumb. That's why. C'mon kids, you gotta do better than that...

"Kathy, I'm lost," I said, though I knew she was sleeping

Even my dog doesn't like me anymore. She's chewing her raw hides, the very same raw hides I might add that have been sitting neglected around the upstairs for months. She's suddenly interested in them again. Or perhaps she'd rather be doing anything than hanging out with me. We had a great game of Dirty Bitch, which consists of me hiding on the stairs and "goosing" her (as I call her a dirty bitch, and old lady, and stinky butt... and things like that) until she gets scared and gives up. Except she didn't get scared tonight, she just got mad... and then got even. So maybe I used up all my cool points on that because I have now become the pariah of the household.

I spent the day eating and seeing friends. I woke up, ate a small turkey sandwich (of the mapley, peppery persuasion) and chugged a Diet DP. Then I met Sarah T for lunch at Baker Bro's (somewhere neither of us had been before). We had a good 3 hour long chat before she had to head out of dodge. After a peaceful tanning session I rolled my old bones back home, where I decided I should bake some cookies. Chocolate chunk pecan was the winner (paired with some Flamin' Hot Fritos... because if there are FHF anywhere in a 5 mile radius I will hunt them down and introduce them to their maker). Not too long after that I met up with Jacq, Glen and Susie, and Brandon at Caprock Cafe for a cheeseburger in paradise. Now please make a note that I really wasn't that hungry, but Jacq had never been to Caprock and I'm never one to pass up an opportunity for a delectable cheeseburger. Tack on a few beers and I was pushing max cap. Next was Roller Derby, and what Bout is complete without a gigantic beer? I partook. Then of course we topped off the night with an after party at Wookiee's mom's house. I felt the need to finish off the day with some veggies, snack crackers, homemade pico and chips, sweet tea, orange balls and a heaping bowl of grits. I will be full for days. This is like Thanksgiving full, and there's just no coming back from that. Yes it was a good day, filled with good friends, good food and good TV. Even after a day like today I am still unsettled. Sometimes even when love and acceptance wash over you in abundance there are still pieces missing.

Example: I love mint chocolate chip ice cream, but no matter how good that ice cream is, if the chips are missing it's not the same. All the positive things fall away to the sides, because the thing you really wanted isn't there. Today was a missing chip day. And even though there are better chips out there (chips that understand and can appreciate the importance of being the chips in the mint chocolate and respect the mint chocolate and it's feelings) I still miss my chips. Chips got tired of me, just like Emmy..... damn dogs.