"...but you don't even have kids!"

This phrase was recently said to me not once, but twice. Twice negating the value of my time.


When do you wake up in the morning? I wake up around 6:45, allowing me time to eat breakfast, check my email (and by email I mean facebook) and get pretty for the day. 6:45, which was fifteen minutes after the suggested meet time. I don't think so. It was assumed I'd be up for the early morning task, which was met with a big fat "Heck no!" from me.


"But you don't even have kids"


That's right. I also don't have influenza, rickets, a mold infestation or a host of other things that might make it difficult for me to get up and out of the house at such an ungodly hour. I don't have kids, but what does that have to do with anything? If I have children I have a legitimate reason to wake up at 5:30 in the AM, but if I don't have kids I don't have a legitimate reason to not get up at 5:30 in the AM.... As I struggled to wrap my brain around what this meant I couldn't reach any sort of logical conclusion. I can only guess it is because people who have children feel very validated by their ability to reproduce. A validation that supercedes anything I might have going on in my life.

So I've decided I need to fabricate some reasons for the future as to why I will not be able to meet my coworkers 2 hours before the work day begins...

... because my religion forbids me to drive before sunrise...
... because my inner city outreach program requires me to hand out coffee until 7:45...
... because I'll be too busy punching you and your kids in the face...
... because I'm memorizing New Moon word for word, which constitutes at least an hour of heavy reading every morning...
... because my dog ate my homework...
... and your kid...
... and just because it's called a "quick getaway" doesn't mean it doesn't take time to plan...

If you've experienced any sort of discrimination due to the fact that you are not a mother or father feel free to use any or all of these excuses against your critics. After all, the best use of your time is what you decide, and that should be apparent to us all.

I want...

- Equality
- One of those California Pizza Kitchen personal sized Sicilian pizzas sitting in my freezer
- For Emmy to brush her own stanky teeth
- To figure out something to wear tomorrow
- To wake up in my parents house to the smell of coffee and the sound of Winston barking while Tim & Nan talk over each other
- some gumbo
- For the couch sized pile of laundry sitting next to me to wash and fold itself
- A kinder disposition
- More focus at work
- To move to a respectable dwelling and...
- Some sense of organization when it comes to that dwelling
- You to have a good day
- A margarita on the rocks/patio/beach
- A family of my own someday
- About a dozen Cadbury Eggs.... self control, self control, self control....
- To be blonde again
- This to last a very, very long time....