Sunday, October 19, 2008

My jeans are haunted

I bought a nice pair of jeans at American Eagle a few months back. I had finally come to grips with the fact that I couldn't squeeze myself into my size 8s and still maintain a professional look, so I took the plunge and spent $50 and some change on a pair of dark wash beauties. While I wasn't too keen on the size of them, they were working well with what they had (me).

Now, I am under the impression (because Oprah and all the fashion magazines have told me so) that dark wash jeans look fancier, thus making them a prime candidate for work week circulation. I figured I could starch them and maybe give-em-a-lil crease down the front and be good to go. No one will wonder why Sarah has been wearing jeans all week to work, they'll just ask themselves how she manages to look so effortlessly striking... this was my plan anyways.

It didn't take but a few days to realize something was - off. I wore them fresh from the store (because that's one wear minus a wash, which by my calculations puts me ahead of the laundry game). After their first wash and dry I left them crumpled in a basket for a little while (so they can mingle with my mismatched socks, wal-mart panties and Old Navy 2 for $10 tee's) before I liberated them for a pressing. I cranked the iron up to "melt your hands with the steam" which is one notch up from "burn your house down" and went to town with my spray starch to ensure a crisp, clean look for the office. Perfect. Or so I thought...

The next morning I noticed an unsightly wrinkle along the backside of the leg. Hmmm, no worries. The hanger must have mussed them up. I gave them a good steam and laid them back out. I went to put them on.... still wrinkled. Huh? So I ironed them again..... no luck. I turned them wrong side out - wrinkled. I actually set the iron on the garment for as long as I thought I could get away with..... WRINKLED. I tried to put it out of my mind, but everytime I go to wear the jeans, there it is mocking me. I have washed, ironed and starched these jeans several times since, but that one spot will. not. stay. ironed.

There is only one explanation: my jeans are haunted. Apparently my $50 bought me a pair of jeans and a wrinkle ghost. If anyone knows of a good exorcist, I'm in the market.


Anonymous said...

Any good exorcism is best performed on the most haunted night of the year. Wait a couple weeks, wash iron and startch at the witching hour. That should scare them into straightness.


Eric said...

Hmmmm, you usually don't see that kind of behavior with name brand clothing.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss